Parenting Pressure - Opinions - Everyone Has One!
Over the years, I have gotten ALOT of advice and opinions from other people. Especially when you have a child who is different. People want to solve the problem and fix the child for you. First off, who says he or she needs to be "fixed".
In today's society, we want our children to be the best, look the best, and be the smartest. Struggling or adversity in a child's life is the worst thing that could happen.
When my son Casey was a child, ( he is 22 years old now), many people had to give me their opinions even if it wasn't warranted. Most of the time, it was not malicious or mean, but occasionally I could see the disgust in their faces.
I would never be rude and I would listen. But, when I was by myself, I would weed out the nonsense opinions I would receive. This is what I have learned over the years and yes I have the grey hairs to prove it!!!
Here they are:
1. Trust your instincts! This one was a hard one , but ALWAYS remember you are the mother and your heart will lead you in the right direction.
2. Do not feel guilty. Know that you are doing the best job you can.
3. Judgements are all around. This does not mean that what people tell you is true for your family. Every child and family is different.
4.Weed out the noise in your head. Turn your mind off and don't analyze every opinion someone gives you.
Finally, the most important one - just love your kids!! They are the best part of you. When Casey was little and struggling in school, he wanted everything to be perfect. My husband and I were sitting at the table and watching him have a meltdown about not being able to do his homework.
I looked at him and I said, "Casey are you new here? Dad and I are so not perfect and don't expect you to be". I watched his face and I saw it. It was total and authentic relief! He said, "Okay". And his OCD about things got better.
Relax on this journey of Motherhood and just breathe!!!